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On the nature of the job

“Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.” – often attributed to Edmund Kean or various actors (Probably the most famous line about the profession.)

“A comedian is just a person who tells the truth faster than other people.”

“Being a comedian means getting paid to say what everyone else is thinking.”

“Comedy is tragedy plus time.” – frequently credited to Mark Twain or Steve Allen

“Every joke has a little bit of pain inside it.”

On performing

“You’re only as good as your last laugh.”

“Stand-up comedy: where you talk to strangers and hope they like you.”

“A good comedian can hear laughter. A great comedian can hear silence.”

“The audience decides whether you’re funny – not you.”

“Performing comedy is like jumping off a cliff and building wings on the way down.”

On failure

Comedians have especially good sayings about bombing on stage:

“Bombing is part of the job description.”

“Every comedian has two careers: the one on stage, and the one in their head after a bad show.”

“If you haven’t died on stage, you haven’t really lived as a comic.”

“Comedy is the only job where silence feels violent.”

A few witty quotes from famous comedians

“I’ve had great success being a total idiot.” – Jerry Lewis

“The first time you hear a laugh, it’s like a drug.” – Eddie Murphy

“Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.” – Peter Ustinov

“We don’t stop laughing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop laughing.” – George Burns

Short humorous proverbs

Some playful modern-style “sayings” you’ll hear among comics:

“Free drinks are the real salary.”

“Microphone in hand, ego on stage.”

“Ten years to become an overnight success.”

“The pay is terrible – the stories are priceless.”

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